hi im lucas known as laker or mwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmwmw im 17 years old and my last goal to get level 100 before im gone my life is big mess even if i try to stay positive and be supportive for my friends i just can't do it anymore for a lot of shits i tried to hide my depression for 3 years and it didn't worked out because im writing this with my teeths hurting me since this morning i dont feel good right now but who gives a shit even my own family hates me behind my back i lose everything meaningful over the years and i regret a lot. i miss my minecraft friends back in 2015 - 2019 we goated in this era playing survival games, skywars and practice chilling on skype or teamspeak talking about dumbshit topics every weekends while playing counter-strike source but i don't know why we fell off suddenly in mid-2019 but i miss sm you guys. now everyone cut-off with me (even irls) for no reason or im too weird all time like literally did nothing wrong this shit is lame it hurts a lot but i can't do much about it so fuck it but i don't know how to make friends anymore and im scared of everyone who tries to interact with me im so sorry. hubert my only bestfriend, i miss u so much u was the cutest cat i ever have always i try to support me i love you a lots can't live without you i can't accept you are gone now but i hope i will join you soon i promise i also lost my soulmate is one of my biggest regret because i hurt him enough to make him break up with me because i was too dumb and didn't take his insecurities really serious at the time, i feel horrible because i actually planned to see him irl and later moved to usa to live with him, he's a great and cute person dunno what to say i tried to move on but i can't forget my loss i just want him back but i think it's not possible but i love u evan anyways i hate life and i might go to a rehab or just assist ss :p